Conversational Treasures

For our purposes, "Me" is whoever typed up the interchange... 

-Me: Are we leaving the house again tonight?
-Marit: I don't plan to. Do you?
-Me: No.
-Marit: Should we eat our weight in Hot Pockets and watch a movie?
-Me: Yes.
-Marit: Would you like the Mentalist or New Moon?
-Me: These are horrible options.


-Marit: Perhaps I just like adding "ington" to names? For instance, I wouldn't call you 'Miraxter' ...wait...
-Me: It's perfect!


"I think my words are getting caught on my molars lately. Some of them trip and fall out and others just get stuck and get left out of sentences." -Marit


"Life should come with a butt warmer" -Touy


"Please get hammer pants and a stage management romper. I will never forgive you if you don't." -Marit



-Marit: Know what?
-Me: What?
-Marit.....I forgot.
-Me: You forgot?
-Marit: I think I got distracted by the fact that the word "reckon" is in my vocabulary.


"I didn't think people who read Dostoevsky said 'LOL'." -Marit


-Me: So, there's tiramisu in there...
-Marit: Oh my gosh! I love Wesley!


-Marit: Can I have Ed & Bertha?
-Me: Of course.
-Marit: I have to wear them like this.
-Me: That's new.
-Marit: OH MY GOSH THEY'RE DUCKS!
-Me: How have I not seen this before??

-Marit: Oh! We should put Elmer's Glue on our faces!

-Me: Why?
-Marit: Remember when we were talking about that with Alyssa and you said we should have a spa night?
-Me:..Oh yeah.
-Marit: Okay I'm doing it.
-Me: I'm gonna re-heat the pasta.
-Marit: Maybe doing this before eating was a mistake.
-Me: Maybe... well I will test the pasta to see if it's good and you tell me if the Elmer's Glue works and then we can switch places.
-Marit: ...I feel like one of us is getting a much better deal here.....

-Marit: The Hippohatic Oath. That's where we both vow to make Hippo Hats.

-Me: Did you just make that up?
-Marit: Don't laugh! It's like the Hippocratic Oath but better?
-Me: I am aware. But did you just make that up?
-Marit: ...Maybe. Please take the Hippohatic Oath.
-Me: How?
-Marit: That's where we do this.... and go 'HUUUUUUUUU'

Miranda: I am full of nonsense... and milk. And mostly cookies. 

-Me: I need to bake.
-Marit: We have baking things.
-Me: I need saltine crackers.
-Marit: We don’t have those.
-Me: Does 7-11 carry saltine crackers?
-Marit: I don’t know. Wanna go find out and then get Slurpees?
-Me: I think that would be wise.

-Me: I'm folding my underwear. I never fold my underwear.
-Marit: Why on earth would you do that?
-Me: It's just gonna get all rumpled on my bottom anyway.
-Marit: Yeah! Bottom rumples!
-Me: Brumples.
-Marit: Or just rumples. Like rumples on your rump.
-Me: It gives 'Rumpelstiltskin' a whole new meaning.

Miranda: Well, we should exercise sometimes if we're going to eat ice cream...
Me: A brisk walk to the frozen yogurt stand?
Miranda: Because working out is a VERY important part of my life.
Me: And we're off to Pinkberry!

-Me: ...Weselbee.
-Marit: What?!?
-Me: You're not Weselbee!
-Marit: No. I'm not. What does he want?
-Me: Nothing. I'm just creeping on him.
-Marit: Oh good. How is he doing?
-Me: Well, he posted a picture of a lot of hedgehogs...
-Marit: OH! OH! OH! KINDRED SPIRIT!

-Me: Drink your coffee.
-Marit: I'm trying....
-Me: There are sleeping children in Africa!
-Marit: Probably Asia too, at this hour.

Once upon a time when the radiator hissed: 
Me: Is it TEA???
Now, every time the radiator hisses: 
Miranda: It's NOT TEA.

-Marit: Have some tea.
-Me: I did.
-Marit: Have some MORE.
-Me:.....okay.
-Marit: The only thing better than tea is MORE TEA!

-Me: Here's for rent.
-Marit: Oh thank you!....wait.
-Me: It's for those bites I took.
-Marit: You can't math very well.
-Me: Let's just call it the friendship tax.

-Marit: Oh, here's my harmonica.
-Me: Oh, phew.
-Marit: I'd better play us a little tune.
-Me: It's midnight on a school night.
-Marit: I'd better not play us a little tune.
-Me: Yeah.
-Marit: Wait. Who's school night is it?
-Me: Everyone else's.

-Me: Would you like this little tin?
-Marit: Yes! I would like that little tin!...Oh, you know what we should do? We should poke a little hole in the top and hang it on a hook and then put it on your key ring so that you can keep your hoodphones in.
-Me: ...My what?
-Marit: ...Your hoodphones!....Bro!
-Me: Shizzle!

Me: We have coupons for 7-eleven.
Miranda: Is there one for a Flea Swirpee??
Me: a flea swirpee...yep.
Miranda: Sounds like I'm maybe already drunk on Slurpees...if I'm already drunk, they'll give me a flea one, maybe.

-Marit: I'm trying to decide if I should knit a small sweater for the hippopotamus. 
-Me: WHY WOULD YOU EVEN NEED TO DELIBERATE ABOUT THAT?
-Marit: Perhaps that was a foolish question.
-Me: I mean...of course it needs a sweater!
-Marit: Maybe a jumpsuit would be more his speed.
-Me: A ROMPER! KNIT IT A ROMPER!

Miranda: Does this look too grubby?
Me: (long pause because I forgot to pay attention)...No.
Miranda: Are you lying to me? 
Me: (long pause because I found a picture of a rhino & was distracted)...No.
Miranda: YOU ARE LYING. 
Me: N'uh!
Miranda: You are lying on your bed.

More thoughts and arguments will (I presume) join this listing shortly.  

They shall be archived as "Communication".